Tonight When I search some information about Palliative Care, I see a sentence from Lower Cape Fear HOSPICE's website:
"Most hospice patients receive care and support in their own homes, in familiar surroundings with loved ones..."
This remind me the several days before my grandpa passed by. Most of the time, he was in a coma, but once he waked, the only sentence he constantly repeated is "I want to go home" ... Every time when he said that I just felt like breaking my heart, he felt unsafe, he felt scared, he wanted to go home, like a child afraid of outside world. But they wouldn't. The doctors and nurses ignored his afraid, and left him in that having advanced facilities but cold hospital. It's their job, understandable, so that they just treated him as a patient, not a human.
When I was five years old, my first day in kindergarten, I was crying super loudly and told to my parents "I want to go home".
When I was 15 years old, my first time traveling abroad by myself and lived in a homestay. The language barrier and sense of lonely made me feel so sad. I sat on my bed, wept and said to the moon "I want to go home".
I don't know why, I just feel so sorry for my grandpa. I know at that moment there were no any possible to let him go home, a lot of facilities worked around him and continued his life. I can totally understand, but just feel so sorry...
No one took him home, like they always did to me when I was a little girl.